Sure, sex has been around since the dawn of time, but that doesn’t mean it’s not constantly evolving. Here are seven sex, love and sexual health trends to keep on your radar this year.
The Sex Revolution
BDSM is coming out of the shadows. According to Saskia Michel, commanding officer at Matildas. “Since 50 Shades of Grey hit the market, people have been way more interested in exploring bondage and kink. We’re seeing people becoming more and more adventurous with this: simple whips and handcuffs are no longer cutting the mustard. People now want full latex clothing, masks and leather body harnesses (which we are also seeing in high fashion overseas). People are definitely becoming more open-minded, curious and kinky.” Time to explore your limits and have some fun.
(No More) Dirty Talk
Relationship counselling has always been a bit of a taboo subject — who wants to admit that they are having problems? — but intimacy and relationship coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs believes that the subject is becoming more acceptable and will only continue to do so: “Marriage is tough with many challenges and that is why seeing an intimacy and relationship coach is the way to set new intimate tones for 2020.”
Not having any problems? You can still benefit from counselling sessions. “Counselling can help a happy and functional relationship by giving [the couple] more ideas to achieve more goals for connection. It may be the type of therapeutic intervention to take the couple into a deeper understanding of their spiritual, intellectual or sexual selves,” explains Ziman Jacobs.
Intimacy coaching (where coaches engage with clients and teach sensual and sexual healing work in a safe space), is also growing in popularity, with Intimacy Coach SA, run by Anne-Marie Clulow-Visser, leading the pack.
Nope, we’re not talking about those parties where you throw your car keys into a bowl next to the front door. We’re talking literal swings.
When Matildas conducted their sex survey last year, they found that people were looking to add some spice to their sex lives and try new things. “The majority of our customers are married or in committed relationships and they find that time pressure, stress, work and children are having a negative impact on their sex lives,” says Michel.
“Excitement is the name of the game and it seems that many people find love swings the ultimate in sexual adventure. We’re talking weightless, gravity-defying sex; sex which requires vulnerability and trust.” Happy swinging!
Never has working out your pelvic floor muscles been so cool and it’s only getting cooler. From yoni eggs and Kegel balls to ‘coregasm’ workouts, there’s a product and exercise regime to get you having more intense orgasms, increased arousal and… To help with that incontinence.
Dr Elna Rudolph, medical doctor, sexologist and clinical head of a famous hospital, explains that the rise in popularity of toys geared towards strengthening your pelvic floor is threefold: “Firstly, there is so much more marketing around the topic because there are now so many online shops selling these products. Secondly, women are taking charge of their sexual health much more than they did previously. They’re also in better economic positions and can afford to purchase products, rather than just relying on exercises.
“Thirdly, from a medical perspective, there are more physiotherapists, specialised in women’s health, who can help women strengthen their pelvic floors. They might also advise women to get some of these toys to do their homework with — making the therapy much more effective.” Time to pump that (internal) iron!
New Kids On The Block
We all have our old favourites when it comes to sex toys, but it’s never a bad idea to try something new. “Although traditional vibrators will always be popular, there is a new type of vibe on the market: namely touch-free clitoral stimulators, like the Womanizer Pro40, Womanzier W500, and Womanzier 2GO, which use sucking and air pressure to arouse and excite the clitoris. “These new toys use motorised power to deliver an undulating suction to the exposed clitoris,” says Michel.
Others to look out for include sonic clitoral stimulators, which are beginning to enter the market. “Products like the SONA uses sonic waves and pulses to stimulate the entire clitoris (not just the part you can see and touch). These types of stimulators allow the on-the-go woman to reach orgasm quickly and consistently and also allow for multiple orgasms, as they don’t make the clitoris overly sensitive,” explains Michel.
Own Your Sexual Health
According to Rudolph, it has never been trendier to take charge of your sexual health. “Being satisfied with just a Pap smear and a repeat script for the Pill from your gynaecologist is so yesterday! Women now have the opportunity to really consult about their sexual health and explore new options to enhance it. The age-old answer of ‘it’s only in your head’ is just not good enough anymore — sexual problems can be managed medically these days!” says Rudolph.
Worried about your libido? Keep an eye out for an interesting new product on the SA market: Lady Prelox — a well-researched libido enhancer.
All The Single Ladies
Praise be! Being single no longer carries the stigma it once did, “‘single’ is no longer a swear word. For some people, marriage just didn’t happen. They were either too busy climbing the corporate ladder or they spent their early adulthood in serious relationships that never materialised into marriage or they simply never found ‘the one,’” says Ziman Jacobs. “People are opting to go solo by choice as relationships have been disappointing for some.”
With women becoming more independent, financially and otherwise, there is no longer pressure to rely on a partner and thus there is no pressure to settle down for anything other than love. We can take our time finding a partner and no longer get so many raised eyebrows at those family dinners. Praise be, indeed.